Encouragement

I just finished my physics test, I bombed it. I thank God for allowing me to be optimistic, realizing that He is in control and He knows all thing.

I am not worry about the future because He is my Rock, my God, my Creator. He will lead and guide me as long as I am holding on to Him and have my eyes fixed on Him.

I am pretty sure that next semester for me is when I will go on a pre-nursing route. I think God is guiding me in this direction. I will listen. For the classes I am taking now, I will try my best and hold on to Him.

I thanked God for bringing good people into my life who gave me encouragement. I don’t know what the future will be like, but I am not anxious. Everything will be okay.

Skate and Friend are FUN

Since I was young, about 6 or 7 years of age, I remembered enjoying rollerskating around the house. It was fun, fast, and required balance.

Today, I went to skate with my sister, who does not really wanted to skate, but she was willing to along side with me. She knows how much I enjoy skating for fun.

The feeling of moving the legs, the farther the feet push against the ground, the faster I move. The feeling of the air brushing through my face. The tightened of my calves in order to move forward and my arms going back and forth to achieve the desire balance, speed, and position. The experience was grand!

Last time I was skating, I got to meet a group of boys that skated really well! They were smooth, fast, and furious (like the title of a movie, Fast and Furious). They made skating looks easy and appealing. They could skate backward and done interesting tricks. They absolutely love to stop abruptly to startle their friends and also love to play tag, you’re it!

So I got a hold of one of the boys in the group, after realizing that he was not a boy, but a young adult because he was three years older than I was. I asked him if he could teach me how to skate backward. He sort of trying to teach me how to do so, but it was actually a 7 years old boy, who could skate so well, that taught and offered me tricks on how to skate backward. He and his dad participated, but I did not achieve the move fully, but was beginning to learn so. It was a good start to my new skating-moves. I would have to say that I had actually improved my backward skating move today. I was sort of understanding about the move, but what I learned today was not to think too deeply about the motion because it made me moved stiffly, but rather to simply not look at my feet and as Nike says, “Just Do It.” So that was what I did, I just do it and the result was better! If I had a chance to skate again, I definitely wanted to improve my speed; I wanted to skate backward faster, because it is where the fun behold! I also will wear something more comfortable. I was wearing a thermal legging underneath my jeans and it was absolutely not the most comfortable to skate wearing such. I preferred wearing a good knee pads, gym shorts, and sport t-shirt while skating.

One highlight of the day was that I met a little girl named Angel and her mom, who has a nickname called Red. Red told me that she did not like the color red even though, some people called her so. I don’t remember how she acquired the name, Red, but it was certainly an interesting name. Angle, on the other hand, is as sweet and nice as her name suggested. She was friendly and helpful as she was trying to make sure I would not fall, even though, she had fallen more than three times herself, while I only fallen once. Oh, little Angel. She was so talkative and gave my sister and I a group hug before Skate World closes.

Another interesting occasion also happened at Skate World today. Even before the winter break started, I had applied to numerous jobs to work at my hometown. I applied for opening positions at a nearby groceries store, fast food restaurants, and to be a barista. I have not hear back from most of them, but for the ones that I wanted to work for such as a job to be a barista and a bagger at a grocery store, I was rejected on all of the positions at a groceries store and I think that I probably will not be getting a job as a barista either, considering the fact that I will only be working for two weeks if hired. The employers highly do not wanted to train someone who only will be working for two weeks!😆 So I think, this reasons heavily influenced why I was not offered a job 😓.

But guessed what! It is also likely that I will be getting a job soon because I went to Skate World today, not planing on getting a job there, but asked two of the employees who worked there, whether they are hiring tight now and both said, “Yes,” so I called the manager, gave him a genuine smile, and asked if he was hiring and he said the same thing and both employees told me. I told him about the 2 weeks working time frame and he was about to give me the results that other employers had previously told me, but I talked my way through until he told me to meet him tomorrow after 2 in the afternoon, and that’s when I knew, I could be getting a two week winter break job like I had hoped.

The only thing right now that would be holding me back from getting the soon to be, hopefully, funnest job I ever will have is that I might not be able to spend time with my lovely little sister, Gift. I love her so much. She makes me laugh. I can probably say that she is my best friend. I thank God for strengthen our relationship because we are getting closer to each other because of his blessings. Anyway, if I were to get this job, which hopefully will allows for me to skate as I had wanted because it is a job we are talking about here ultimately. The main reason why I was interested in the job primarily was that I could skate more; however, it might be such case. But, yeah, if I were to get this job, it would also mean that I will not spend much time with my sister or my dad. There are something that money cannot buy such as time and love. I will ask for God guidance, but I also feel like I sort of already knew the answer and I think that if I were to ask my dad, he would also tell me that it is okay not to work. My sister, on the opposite end, might supports my decision, but I can also see that she did not really want me to work either because she like having me around. It seems to me, right now, that I might not be able to have this job after all and it is not a guarantee that this job will allows for me to skate more either. I will probably be assisting customers and not skating as I wish. 🤔 So yeah.. too bad so sad, no spending money for this winter break. 😤

Before I went to Skate World, I also met up with my good high school friend, Tooba. We chatted at Starbucks, even though she arrived approximately 40 minutes late for our date. I was sort of a little frustrated at the time and considered leaving as I waited for her. I texted her wanting to say something intended to sound unappreciated about the situation, but I did not, because I thought about Jesus. I knew in my heart that Jesus will wanted me to turn the other cheeks. He reminded me of my own mistakes because I had been late in the past as well. He reminded me that we are not perfect, so when we met I greeted her with a hug. She apologized and I can saw how that she was sorry, so I dismissed the mistake. Tooba handed me a gift that she brought with her to  give to me. I was touched and was so glad that I decided on not leaving because that would affected our friendship and great conversations that we were to have. Before, I met Tooba, I had prayed that the Lord would lead the conversations and that he would allow me to be selfless and to have a nice, intimate conversations, that they would flow well, and the Lord saw that the requests were good, so he granted me a great time with my friend, Tooba amongst the aroma of coffee, people waiting for their drink at Starbucks. We had such a great time that I wanted to hangout some more, but we eventually went home because I did not want the drinks that her brother and my sister had asked us to order before we leave to be melted.

Anyway, today was fun and it is getting late, so I am heading to bed. Goodnight!

I couldn’t believe I am feeling this way

I am not sure why, I am feeling this way. I don’t know it is me or her. Well, right now I only will understand my feelings. I have confessed that since I left home after I came to visit my family for the Thanksgiving break, I missed them so much. When I finally arrived back to my apartment and I felt the emptiness of the place and there was no family, not my sister or my dad. I was upset and even more upset now as I am typing, so I finally moved on quickly, didn’t know how I did it, but I simply moved on and didn’t think much about them.

Since, Thanksgiving day, I didn’t really called them either. I didn’t remember trying to call them as much. I knew that my dad would try to FaceTime me, but I didn’t take the call seriously and I didn’t even try to call back. My sister also tried to call me, but I also simply ignored. I think I am starting to taste the medicine.

To be honest, I have always been not good at keeping in touch with anyone. I simply don’t and I think it’s rooted in my selfishness or whatever they may be.

I think, this is God trying to teach me something. I think he’s trying to teach me to care for others. I know that I am selfish, but I also realized that I am very selfish.

Now, I am starting to feel sort of neglected by my sister whom I have not been thinking much of. I am starting to realized that she did missed me, but I right now I think I am sort of unintentionally pushing her away, pushing my family away and not considered. All those FaceTime called that I missed and did not attempted to call back. I must tell them and addressed it to them, because it is uncaring and selfish. I am not sure how to feel right now. I honesty am don’t know.  I feel awful, and wronged against them.

I have not been good with any of them, uncaringly. I simply do my own thing and did not pay much attention to them.

I think I must try now. I cannot expected a plant to grow beautifully on their own. I must also do the work, such as watering, giving it nutrients, pruning it, loving it, and caring for it.

Jesus please helps me as I will not be able to achieve this on my own. I am selfish, prideful, and uncaring or inconsiderate of others. Please help me see the thing that I have been blind to, please help me open my eyes O, God.

Jesus, I asked of you to help me strengthen my relationship with my family and relatives through your power and love. Please show me how to love them and be selfless when I am with them, O God.

Jesus, please help me, please help me.

Have you ever went out running at 11 p.m.?

I had. Today, my very first sort of out of the blue moved. My Big (a sister at sorority) and I went out to grab for an ice-cream at 9 p.m. She initiated the meeting and asked if an ice-cream shop would be okay. Well, she probably forgot that I don’t eat dairy, but I didn’t want to be difficult about not wanting to eat ice-cream, because I can, but just do not choose to eat. I reasoned that putting other people wishes above mine is a good thing to do and eating an ice-cream and enjoying her company is okay to have once in awhile. I, sometimes, eat a piece of cake, which has dairy in it and I was fine, so I reasoned that a cup of ice-cream wouldn’t be all that bad and she was being kind to ask to hang-out tonight. So, I said, “Yes! I wouldn’t mind at all!”

Well, at the ice-cream shop, we had a pretty good conversation. It was mostly her talking because I enjoyed listening. Anyway, she told me interesting story about her and her boyfriend. That’s was cool. My Big is a really nice girl.

After the meeting ended, I drove home, turned on the K-LOVE (a Christian radio station) and listened to Christian and some Christmas musics. It was so great!

I came back to my dorm, sat, looked over my phone, and started to realized that I felt sluggish, tight, and kind of fat. I know, you might think that I must be crazy! How could a bowl of ice-cream that I didn’t even finish made me feel fat. Well, it sort of did. I felt tight as if my stomach was in shocked and couldn’t digest the ice-cream well. I felt weird inside my stomach and felt like wanting it to come out.

After feeling sort of ill, I decided to go for a run, so I can burn off the calories and potentially feel better. So I did, and went out for a jog. It was 41 degree Fahrenheit outside. I wore enough layers that I didn’t feel as cold, but my hand and face were naked, without any fabric covering them, so it was chilly there, but other than that I simply kept jogging, which I hadn’t done it in a long time~

I ran while listened to my Beats headphone at the same time, but I soon realized how unwilling it was to run against the cold wind. I ran for a good 4 minutes, then stop, remembered thinking to myself how hard it was. My throat started hurting as I continued running against the cold wind. I thought to myself, this isn’t as easy, which I sort of had anticipated. I ran once again, and then stopped, then ran and stoped. I did this running and stopping for about three times, because my throat was hurting. After that I saw a white university truck, which I had this movie running though my mind about being kidnapped, so I ran away from the truck. After that I started seeing the light, so I thought that I will run to that light ahead, make a U-turn and then back to my dorm. So, I decided to simply run toward the night light on the side walk. I was determined, but then I started to see the white university truck again and it was parked next to my night light, so I thought, what even! I quickly turned around and head the opposite direction. Forget about the light, I am heading back to my dorm this time.

So I quickly ran, which by now my body had already gotten the rhythm of me trying to exercise, so I was okay and just kept on running without having to stop because of my throat. I ran and ran, until I started to detect a car light behind me, which was a Lexus that passed me, so I was relieved. I then detected another vehicle light, this time it was the white truck, so I just ran. When I saw it moving in an opposite direction from me, so I was feeling okay.

I finally made it back to my dorm and I started to realized that I did not have my key to open my dorm, so I was worried once again.

I made a call to the CA and someone picked up. When he met me, I knew that he wasn’t that happy because I might could as well be woken him up in the middle of the night form a sweet dream because it was 12 in the morning.

Anyway, I made it back into my dorm, took a shower, and now am writing a blog about the kind of crazy story that just happened and I need to go to sleep now. Adios.

What’s Mindfulness and Ego?

I just had a talked with a, about to be resigned, professor who if he were not to retire, would have been my professor to intro to computer science class, next semester. However, he told me that his wife is ill, therefore, he needs to spend this time together and potentially travel to Spain with their two daughters. He was a person whom told me about this term “mindfulness.” It is a term I have heard of before, but did not put in much thought to it. He also mentioned the word, “ego.”

Professor Benitez Noe has all grey hair, not that much wriggle, and a great smile and teeth. If I had to guessed his age, he might be well around, about 65-68 years of age, taking into context that he would still be teaching. He got his doctorate at the University of Purdue, a pretty well known university and the Purdue.owl website, is the website, in which, I used to do a better citation.

Anyway, I don’t know what the Bible tells me about these terms, mindfulness and ego. If I searched, it would be interested to see these terms in the Bible.

Now, that Dr. Benitez mentioned the term, ego, I am starting to question myself that I might have had experienced this term before. I simply didn’t know that it has a term in itself. I wonder if ego and pride correlates. I, for sure, knew that pride is something I have experienced with and still am praying about it. I know that Jesus has been working within me about pride because I had been feeling really good recently and meeting people is not wrenchingly uncomfortable.

This is certainly interesting to me. Perhaps, one of the reason why I didn’t get an A in genetics was part due to myself, referring to my ego. I didn’t put in my best work for this class and I should have waited to take this class later in the year. I approached it incorrectly when my background in biology isn’t quite solid, rather my studying skills isn’t quite solid either.

Anyway, I learn something today and should might as well be celebrated for and talking to Dr. Benitez was certainly interesting. He seems wise.

From now, I will continue to hold on to Jesus and ask for his direction. I will still be praying about my sins and trusting in Him to work on those. This is certainly a fascinating day, having conversation with people and learning about their experience is treasure.

I love and thank you, Jesus for this opportunity. I learned about the words ego and mindfulness was intriguing. I will look into them more. Is it in God’s plan for me to look into this?