Remember this feeling

Remember this feeling you have right now. When you are going. When you keep going. When you’re getting better, stronger. When know you’re doing better. When you’re pushing through. When you’re happy the fire is burning. When you starting to feel hopeful. When you starting to love yourself. When you’re growing. God has a plan. He always does. Things that happened to you, through it, He remains unchanged, faithful, and awesome. You’re in good hands. He loves you so so much to sent His Son to die for you on the cross, so that you can be redeemed and made known to Him. God is love. He is love and you’re loved by Him. When you’re o.k, this is more than enough. Know that things happened for a reason. It does. Trust in the process. Don’t force the outcome. And always gives thanks to God. Thank Him for the provision He has and His goodness.

If you forget, come back to this message and remind yourself times-and-times again until it’s nailed to you. Love yourself. God is love. Love yourself well in the process and don’t forget to love others too.

What do I want?

What do I want exactly?

What do I want from him. Nothing. I want nothing from him. I am ok with having absolute nothing. It seems pessimistic, but nothing. I want and care for nothing. It’s ok the way it is. It is. It is ok. A O-K. šŸ‘Œ

There is more to life than one aspect that isn’t fulfill because there are more aspects to be fulfilled. You should thrive to make yourself happy. Care for yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself more. Be good to you.

When you seem to be able to give advices

When you seem to be able to give other people the proper advice or the advice that you think is best, but the one who you should be giving it to the most is, to yourself.

The paragraph above, truly resonates with me. It’s something I’m telling myself to understand and fully believe.

I met Crystal in a chemistry lab, she was my assigned lab partner for the semester. We worked well together because both of us cared about having good experimental results. Often time, when we waited for the experiment to do its magics (reactions), we would use that time to talk about life. I don’t share about my personal life voluntarily. It’s not something I often do. But Crystal didn’t mind, she was having a relationship problem, so she vent it out to me.

She said that she didn’t [sometimes] feel loved by her boyfriend, which I can certainly relate. As I went through something similar and it was good I went through it.
It was the one of the best things that ever happened to me for good. The experience twisted and turned my stomach. It has a quenching pain. It was just good.

I ended the relationship, only to later realized that I want it back, but I couldn’t quit pinpoint exactly why I wanted it when it wasn’t the best for me.

I told her to love herself more and value herself and to not let a guy turned her life upside down in a rollercoaster. Because he can’t. She (me) shouldn’t let him or anyone ever.

Even though, I told her the best advice I could think of, I am also speaking those advice to myself. God put me in this situation where I was giving advice to her, but in fact, I was giving advice to myself. He used her to tell me the things he wanted me to know more fully. I know them in my head, but I don’t listen to it. And that’s the problem.

I love him (an ex) and I would maybe give my world to him. But I can’t give my world to him because I don’t know if I can give the world to myself.

I missed him dearly and knowing that and focusing on the feelings is not the best thing I’m doing to myself right now. I’m going through something absolutely preventable. As magical as this sound, this symptoms could be cured. I am optimistic that it could be cured with a snap of a finger, to wake up.

It can’t be as clear as it could be. It’s as clear as the night and day. I need to be able to believe it. I do. I always ended up disappointing myself in relationship. It’s like I expect a lot out of it. I have my ideal everything planned out. They’re just not on board. They can’t ever be if it’s not from God.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I need to be still. There hasn’t been days that I didn’t think about it. I want to snap out of it and to be happy. I can’t afford to live a life like this. A sad, regretful, and longing life.

Life shouldn’t be so hard. It shouldn’t be this complicated. It should be better, fun, and more meaningful.

“Let’s be friend.” Never has I ever heard it saying to me. Checked.

There is not anything I can do anymore, except to pray.

Jesus, I know you’re there. I know you do. Please help me believe and feel that you do. That you have great plan. You do. Lord. You do. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, Lord. When I chose what I want instead of what I’ve been taught by you to live. I messed up, my Lord. I did. Big time. More than I could’ve ever thought I would ended up in. All the things I tried to build, clashes, broken–into pieces. I feel horrible, Lord. I sinned. I’m broken and I am in need of you. To rescue me. I am broken and completely broke. Into pieces. I lacked values, principles I hold on to. Lord, I don’t have time for anything or anyone anymore. Not even for my friends, sister, or family. I’m down in this hole all alone by myself. I am not as happy as I should be. I let a guy turned me upside down and pinned me down to a rollercoaster ride. I let him do it. I let it happened to me. I allowed him to. It doesn’t have to be this way. It doesn’t. We’re not for each other from the very start. From the very beginning. We weren’t. It. I have hard time believing in so, even though my head said no, my heart rejected. The heart wants what it wants. My head trying to tell me otherwise. In reality, everything is all in my head.

Lord, I did wrong, Lord. I did. I am sorry I disappointed you, again and again. I messed up. And I don’t want to ever repeat this mistake again. It costed me. It’s costly. I am ashamed and guilty of what I did. I am sorry, Jesus. I am. Please forgive me. Forgive me this ugly sin.

Heart break is not a bad thing

Sometimes, heart break may be the best thing that ever happened to you. It makes you realized so much. It makes you feel alive. Like you’re living. Through the pain, you’re living. It’s magical. It makes your eyes suddenly magnified.

Sitting and brooding will not makes things better

The truth is sitting and brooding over negative emotions done more harm and good. The easiest, most obvious cure, is to get up and do something!

Life’s worth more living. It is. Think about the positives. There is so much to look forward to.

When you go forward, you keep going. Just keep going. Just keep on pushing. Everything will be ok. It will be better. Have hope and keep your head held high. Smile at others and more importantly smile inside to yourself.

11%

“Only 11% women know this” was the caption of a video I recently watched and I honestly felt resonated with the message.

I don’t know if this is an earthly message or what, but how I see the role or a picture of a husband and a wife is an image of two strong individual standing next to each other.

I, sometimes, heard that a great woman supports her man and amplify his ability to take care of her and family.

I know that my role as a potential wife is to love, encourage, and support my husband in what ever he does. I also know that if I make him happy, he, too, will make me happy in return. It goes both way.

As a man, I look for someone who will serve me–emotionally and physically. Of course, for the all things I expected to receive, I will also give.

The marriage that I see something very beautiful. If God truly blesses the relationship then it’s going to be amazing and wonderful.

Once I learn that giving the right way is when I do so in the name and glory of God.

Everything is going to be ok. When a man doesn’t care for you, examine how you’ve care for him in your own life and if that doesn’t being reciprocated then it’s time you walk away.

Bike Presentation

This is my school assignment I drafted on my blog because I like writing it on here more than in Word or Google doc.

Funding bike plans is not a one-size-fit-all meaning that federal, state, local/regional, as well as private sources often work together, doubling its effect to fund for the plan as it often require a lot of money, but still less than let’s say a high way project.

The type of funding needs will depends on the type of the project, whether that just be drawing small bike lane on a few block of the neighbored or having to expand Ā the street to adding bike lanes will will require more construction and thereforeand therefore also depends if there is funding available too., fund availability, or expediency, which is a mean to achieving an end.

Several sources will often be used. The choice depends on the availability of particular funds, the nature of the projects, andĀ howĀ fast are theseĀ fundsĀ areĀ available.

Advocacy Advance is an organization that mostly used federally funded source to help local communities and organizations fight to persuade their states and local governments for a bike plan. They’ll help the local governments with how to extend those federal funds for infrastructure projects. As well as help build campaign for an actual proven plans or starting ballots for when lawmakers are not serving the community interest. Campaign – to implement a plan to get community on board with the plan.

Ballot – start the plan for voting, making the plan more official

 

One of the leaders to use federal funds to pay for bike lanes Ā is Memphis, TN. They used Fereal program such as Surface Transportation Program (STP), the Congestion Mitigation and Air Quality Improvement Program (CMAQ), and the Highway Safety Improvement Program (HSIP).

 

STP – give fund for state and local community to improveĀ Federal-aid highway, bridge and tunnel projects on any public road, pedestrian and bicycle infrastructure, and transit capital projects, including intercity bus terminals.

 

CMAQ – funding source to State and local governments for transportation projects and programs that meet the requirement of the Clean Air Act. Funding is available to reduce congestion and improve air quality for areas that do not meet the National Ambient Air Quality Standards for ozone, carbon monoxide, or particulate matter (nonattainment areas) and for former nonattainment areas that are now in compliance (maintenance areas).

HSIP – isĀ core Federal-aid program with the purpose to achieve a significant reduction in traffic fatalities and serious injuries on all public roads, including non-State-owned roads and roads on tribal land.

 

Eugene, OR used a state bicycle and pedestrian grant to build its first separated infrastructure.

Development impact fees are one- time charges collected from developers for financing new infrastructure construction and operations.

 

A bond is an investment that works like an IOU. It’s a loan to a company or government that pays investors a fixed rate of return over a specific term.

 

Many U.S. states and cities have funded transportation projects through local taxes and bonds approved by eligible voters.

 

General Revenue is a unallocated funds collected by the local and states from business and property owner. These are the money that can be used for any purposes (homeless shelter).