Not to sound pessimistic, but not all failures will lead to success if that failures aren’t learn. I am not sure how to feel good about this because I obviously felt bad after realizing that I could have done much better on my second chemistry exam. Exhale. Really, I was under prepared. The test is not impossible to make an A. I definitely could make an A, IF I was better prepare and be MORE ALERT. I am disappointed, deeply. But, there is nothing I could do about it now since it has already passed.
I have another exam tomorrow. A statistic test and another one on Tuesday and Wednesday. I need to prepare for the statistic exam ASAP to avoid disappointments, negativity, and all sorts of self-doubt and self-blaming emotion.
I am not sure how to cope with failure in exam or in life. When I did some google searching, I am hoping to find something relating to “what does the scripture says about failure.” I sure God is bigger than any failure in my life. But my mind, at this moment, I only see and feel what I want to see and feel, so the bigger picture is definitely not into focus. I felt that I deserved to feel this negativity since I made the decision.
Right now, my worry or fear is that I would repeat this mistake twice; again and again. I don’t want that. I absolutely terrify of that. I cannot even think about it.
I am having a conflict here. I wanted to put God first in my life, but right now, at this moment, I will still put God FIRST in my life. I also will increase my work ethics as I truly wanted to go to medical school. It’s my dream. Thinking about it makes me hopeful, but the short sighted reality is that I have 1 more test this week and 2 more tests the week after.
Life can be hard if I make it hard.
I needed to have better strategies for studying and planing each and every step well to have a smoother life in college. I need to make sure that I plan accordingly. Whatever I am doing right now is not working. It very rushing and not clever. I need a clever planing. I only have 4 classes this semester. It’s not unbearable. I just need to make a better sense of myself, start making smart decision, plan ahead, and to be on top of things! That’s what’s calls success! Start reorganizing your life and don’t ever lose sight of God.