Risks. Decision.

This world is full of people who had no idea what they want to do. They’re chasing something that isn’t their “passion.” It can money fame, relationship, whatever. Something that feel like they need to have but actually does not need it, at least at the moment. So it is important to chase and find something that you like at the moment and just go for it because when are you going to do it? Literally when? In the next 3 years? OMG, it seems like a long time. If you like something and wanting to do it then do it. Do it. Do it as soon as you can. We have to realize that our idea and how we are or how we think we are has a lot to do with societal expectation of us. Who says we can’t be homeless, who says we shouldn’t do art. We hears all these things that others, some voices, suggestions, advice? tells us to do. Society determines “income” with our job. Whatever they feel are valuable will have more price. Healthcare for example have high cost because we associate life and service to be more valuable and therefore it costs more than perhaps something that isn’t as life threatening such as picking up trash or cleaning the bathroom pays. Now, society put on a price tag on what they decide to pay. If we have a messy bathroom, now that is necessary. But heart problem is more urgent therefore, it ought to be done now and it costs more. Now those “advices” from whoever you received, we are going to assume for most cases that they meant well, yes, perhaps, but they may not necessarily correct. Really, they may not be right either. They makes mistakes too, perhaps they ‘re older, but they , too, make mistakes. We all do! And it is okay to make mistakes and the word mistakes is also made up and has been given a negative connotation to it. If mistakes = awesome then we know that mistakes means awesome, connotes positivity. However, we tends to associate the word mistake to “you messing up,” well learned from it, move on, etc.

Now in some scenario, those advices are conflicting with us. I remembered that my dad told me that being a doctor is a good job. Why not you try it. If I remembered correctly, that is what he sort of inferred. Since that day, I sort of having an idea of what is it to be a doctor. You help patients, taking care of the sick, helping them get better and feel better.

My dad looked at the photo of his oldest sister, which he obviously admired her, because she is considered “successful.” She earned the societal standard of the word “success.” Being a medical doctor is considered to be a respectable occupation. The society considered doctor, lawyer, successful business/company owner (CEO*) to be respectable because they supposedly contribute to the societal needs. They’re making big impact. They saves lives, saves someone from wrong, saves someone life in term of not having to be locked up when they may not be guilty, they produce goods and products like shampoos, conditioners, foods, medicines, etc to our home. So whoever makes the most impact earns the bucks.

Now a good question is what I do I want to do in life? I want to create something for me to feel proud and accomplished; to make an impact, mostly to making myself feel value and useful. Well, what is next when I feel proud and accomplish doesn’t last as it was initially started. That why, musics producers kept on producing musics, that is perhaps also why new company came out with a new product, or perhaps that is why a chef or restaurant came out with a new menu.

Don’t say we can’t do something because we can.

Right now, I am not yet been doing something that I was meant to do. I haven’t really started on the journey of doing the thing I want. I have always been creative. I am detailed oriented. I am a quick learner. I like to create. I enjoy drawing and painting. I am good at these detail oriented work. Therefore working with numbers is the same way. I like math. I like to floss and brush my teeth. I fold my cloths. I prep my meal. I like to write to discover and express. I think being a surgeon maybe a job for me since, I am stable, detail and can handle stressed*. * the stressed part needed to be validated. I don’t care about having to work hard* as long as I enjoy what I do. I don’t want to work hard at the things I don’t really enjoy or the thing I didn’t want to do. That is why, doing some school assignments doesn’t resonates with me. However, I still would have to do it. I might simply go to become a fashion designer. Now, there are cloth out there. There are many competition.

As a human, we are constantly making mistakes from the first day we learned to walk, they’re taking that step to talk (arguably innately, unless you have some sort of specialty, or disability hindering them from pursuing this act) well anyway, when we were young we were taking this risk of learning how to walk. Now when we first learning how to walk, we sort of just walk. Honestly, I don’t remembered the first time I started walking. I don’t think my parents do either. But, we just walk because we’re design to walk. It is innate. And when we do walk, we don’t think about failing. We didn’t expected to fall. The falling parts just happened, we may cry, we may not cry. Whatever it may be, …..we eventually get back up to walk again.

This is how choosing what to do is like in a sense. I should just go for what I found interesting, go for it. Just simply do it, whatever, I like, just go for it and see it for myself whether or not it is a good fit. Choose what I like without ANY societal expectation, statistic, data, and sort of “advice” you may hear in the past. Just choose what you like and go for it. Whatever, it may be. Take the risk of failing. Think of the time you learned something new because you wanted to and it happens or it may fail. Whatever just go with it.

I tend to be a person who like to be sure of making sure the rock that I am going to take a step is stable. I like to be sure before I approach. This comes when I am choosing a major, relationship, etc. I need to be sure before I do things. I didn’t like disappointment. I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want to having to change or waste my time and money. I didn’t want to be hurt basically.

I have to admit that hurting is part of getting back up to walk. Hurting is good. Hurting is challenging. Hurting is putting yourself at risk (not physically risk like dying but emotional and psychological risk). Hurting is necessary. Hurting is good. Hurting is getting back up.

It is more clear than ever that I wanted to find something and go for it. I want to be a designer. I like to create my own thing. Make my own thing. Entrepreneurship is somewhere in me. I had thought of creating my own application. I had thought of creating jewelry and sell them on Etsy. When I was little I sold stuff that I put effort in. I am a seller and I like to create my own line of things. However, I need to think of what I want to do. I had thought of opening restaurant. I want to create my own empire of things that is what I want. I am somewhat still in conflict.

Beneath God. Always. However, I will always consider God.

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