Never have I

Never have I thought I had reminiscence other couples loving each other and I can only think back to once was mine. It wasn’t nearly as romantic or anything, but it was something that made me happy. Nostalgia is a word I’ve often heard after post break-up. It’s a word that I had no understanding of the meaning or even curious to look it up, by here I am hear it and beginning to learn what it means. I learned something about myself again every time I experience pain or disappointment. I don’t know if I inflict this on myself or not regardless it happened. I learned that I tend to dive into the moment. I eat it all at once, but also no willing to commit emotionally. I’m so much in tune to the presence and don’t like to think about the future or even the next day. I’m so much into the presence and I think it is a good thing. Some where on the internet said that this type of personality would be hard to stay in a long term relationship. I don’t disagree. Perhaps, I just not ready. Perhaps, I was hopeful, but I got shot down. Perhaps, perhaps, and perhaps. It’s sad, but I don’t know if I have to sad anymore. I’ve done that quite a bit already. More than I should because I think it is ok to be sad and let emotion flows. I still can do that easily. I know some people who are not willing to show emotion. I don’t think I’m ever like that. Emotion and how I feel can dictates many thing.

I like him. I like that he cared for me at times. But there are occasion where I questioned his genuineness. It seems like I was being fool this whole time. I don’t know if I am right but my guts say so.

I am capable of loving someone right? If I think it’s safe to do so?

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