Emotion is running. Stomach twitching and spinning. I look for true love. I do. Isn’t it crazy. I’m not going to act rashly. In this tiring, I’m going to wait. Whatever I’m waiting on. I’m going to wait. One guy can’t complete me. I truly wish I could be looked at that way. That someone can look at me that way. Someone steady, dependable, and comforting. Someone not angry, easily upset, and unstable. I’m going to wait my Lord. You know all things–my flaws, lack of, imperfections. That person has them too, but somehow it will compliments mine. Perhaps I’ve not been at that stage, of being vulnerable with someone. Perhaps it has to be unlocked. I can’t choose to be vulnerable. The other person simply has unlocked it? That sense of peace. I yearned for it. I want someone who will bring me closer to you as well. You know that perfect timing. Help me with my dreams and goals, oh God. Broke my selfish heart, coldness, passive aggressive, self center ness, me ideology, and over sensitivity. I prayed Lord. I need you Lord. My life is a chaos from my own hands. It’s a mess. A broken, weary, painful mess. It’s burdensome. It’s selfish. It’s confusing. I’m scare of the future. My goals, dreams, and relationships. I am scare of my disappointments. That’s because I’m trying to take it in my own hands. I didn’t realized I made myself God. I try to take matter in my own hands instead of trusting you, relying on the one True God. No wonder, I created a mess. No wonder I experienced disappointment times and times again. I look a safe place, an everlasting joy in relationship. The one that is centered on you. I expected many things that resulted in dissatisfactions. No wonder my stomach felt queasy. I kept listening to others while ignoring your voice. I kept taking advice from other when I only to listen and be stilled. Jesus, please forgive for the mess I’ve created. I repented and I don’t want to take matter in my own hand, but to lay them at your feet. My dreams, goals, relationships, and people I give them all to you at your feet. I need you, Jesus. My heart long for your goodness. Help me to wake up with strength in order to go to church tomorrow. I don’t wan to look for anybody, Lord. I only want to look at you. I want to trust you. Please help me stay on task–to follow my Shepard. I’m weak, but you’re strong. I was lost and you found me.
Published by MyPitching.Blog
I am pursuing a bachelor degree at Texas Tech University. I am majoring in General Studies on a Pre-Medical track. I want to be a surgeon. I started this blog my sophomore year of college in my dorm's laundry room while machines were running loudly, however, I was still able to focus on what's important--starting my first ever blogging experience. I was reading an article about how students can often get stuck in college life while becoming oblivious to what's going on outside or once they graduated. I want this blog to be a mean of investment, but it has turned to be something so much more. It has become my personal, 22 dollars annually therapist sessions. It has become my supportive-best friend. I am interested in sharing my experiences (brokenness, happiness) as well as connecting with you. Hopefully, my site and stories can benefit you. I hope that my experiences (heart breaks, boys' problems, disappointments) reach you. I prayed that through hard times, we're still hopeful, knowing that we serve an unchangeable, constant, never-ever-changing God of the universe. I hope that my experiences and honesty can touch, reach, and love you. It is through this brokenness that makes me excited to live and keep going. My uttermost importance in life is to live a meaningful life full of growth. No matter which allies I get lost in, I know I will eventually find the hill. I live for the sole purpose of growth, until I die. People can say I'm delusional or whatever, I don't care. I know I am living my LIFE. It's MY LIFE and I am the protagonist of my story. No one is going to write it for me. I always wanted to travel. I hope to be able to do that in the future. I have this passion to help the sick (mentally and physically) and to help them redeem their life once more--to give them a chance to live a better life and to make a better decision. To give them a chance to love themself better just like God has given me uncountable chance to live again, again, and again, and again. I don't want to just live life, I want to LIVE LIFE. I want to experience it all. View all posts by MyPitching.Blog