Look, you have caused me so much pain, so much pain. That I didn’t even know was actually more painful than my worse period cramp. It means that much. I absolutely hate you for it. I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me. And I don’t want to hate you. Because I know that it’s not right. It’s not right to hate someone in God’s eyes. Jesus I know I this upon myself l. I am being hard on myself, but Lord please make it stops. Please allow me to come to term and forgive and let go please. Please. I don’t want to be swayed. I want to remain strong and courageous. It’s painful, but I want to be strong and not looking to go back to the awful experience. The past 4 months had been nothing more but pain. There were a lot that were missing and I felt it. He was dishonest from the start. And I was stupid. I was stupid to kept proceeding. I was stupid to let it destroyed me til today. I can’t accept this. What should I do my Lord. What should I do. Please help me. If I’m not to do anything, please lord I ask for peace and gentleness. You learned Biden is light and your word is kind. Please send angle to me Lord. Please send angles and Holy Spirit to heal my soul. This angry, frustrated soul. I don’t want this. I want to move on and be happy, more importantly go back to you. I feel like I’m lying just to get out of this sadness. Lord, you know my heart; good or deceiving. But Lord, I need you for good or deceive, I need you. Always.
Pain
Published by MyPitching.Blog
I am pursuing a bachelor degree at Texas Tech University. I am majoring in General Studies on a Pre-Medical track. I want to be a surgeon. I started this blog my sophomore year of college in my dorm's laundry room while machines were running loudly, however, I was still able to focus on what's important--starting my first ever blogging experience. I was reading an article about how students can often get stuck in college life while becoming oblivious to what's going on outside or once they graduated. I want this blog to be a mean of investment, but it has turned to be something so much more. It has become my personal, 22 dollars annually therapist sessions. It has become my supportive-best friend. I am interested in sharing my experiences (brokenness, happiness) as well as connecting with you. Hopefully, my site and stories can benefit you. I hope that my experiences (heart breaks, boys' problems, disappointments) reach you. I prayed that through hard times, we're still hopeful, knowing that we serve an unchangeable, constant, never-ever-changing God of the universe. I hope that my experiences and honesty can touch, reach, and love you. It is through this brokenness that makes me excited to live and keep going. My uttermost importance in life is to live a meaningful life full of growth. No matter which allies I get lost in, I know I will eventually find the hill. I live for the sole purpose of growth, until I die. People can say I'm delusional or whatever, I don't care. I know I am living my LIFE. It's MY LIFE and I am the protagonist of my story. No one is going to write it for me. I always wanted to travel. I hope to be able to do that in the future. I have this passion to help the sick (mentally and physically) and to help them redeem their life once more--to give them a chance to live a better life and to make a better decision. To give them a chance to love themself better just like God has given me uncountable chance to live again, again, and again, and again. I don't want to just live life, I want to LIVE LIFE. I want to experience it all. View all posts by MyPitching.Blog
