Hard-on Myself

I don’t want to admit anything about being hard on myself. Well, absolutely, I can be as such with myself and having self-awareness is telling me that it can be great and damaging at times. But again if I truly think about it, being hard on myself isn’t necessary the worst or bad thing when it’s done with self-respect. It is in a better of fact helps me grow if caution. It’s like a magical growth power if it’s being use wisely and carefully.

well, somehow, I managed to derail what I’d actually wanting to blog about. I’ve been wanting to blog about how what I did at work today hunted me all-day-long. And it made my feel guilty and simply ruined my day-ish. It literally hunts me and made me feel lesser of myself. Lesser like I want be a good person I perceived myself to be. It makes me feel like I spend all of my piggy bank money. It made me feel that I sort of ruined the image of myself I’ve been creating which is a person who doesn’t do anything dishonest. Well today, I was working on the oven and there was this cheese danish that i accidentally open but I realized that no one hadn’t actually ordered it. I was hungry and Sunday was slow. There were stuff going on with the mobile order which was how we get many of our businesses from. The app that used to make order was broken and we received less customers than we normally would. Anyhow, there was this cheese danish laying around on my sight and it was just sitting there. Remember that I was hungry and there wasn’t any order coming in, so I basically Stolen the danish and ate it. It was GOOD but I felt like a criminal, and it affected how I was at work. I felt guilty and acted like one (if not apparent but I felt it 100%). I felt like a thief, which was not ok. And since that mistake, my shift manager decided to complimented me by the end of my shift. I felt like I was lying to these people that I am a good person, but since I stolen this danish I felt like I was fooling them. And it certainly made me think less highly of myself.

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