I’m perplexed at the bitterness of my heart. I know I am bad and mean and selfish and cold and everything but good. I’m just bad and bitter. And I don’t need to explain or owe it to other. All I know is that I need to be better. I think that my life is so bad but I’m bad and that’s all. Well I don’t have to be bad. I can be good. Nothing good comes easy but maybe if one’s lucky. All I know is that I’m tired of being mean to my dad. I don’t have to be perfect but what I could be is to not be mean to people who I think deserves it or hurt me. I’m done with that. It produced no good and I can witnessed that in my own life. It doesn’t do me any good to be mean to someone. I don’t think I have the right to be mean to someone. I’m not a judge and I simply don’t need to act like one. I need to stop and do good things that I think is good. The world in itself has already been fill with lots of pain and hurt. I don’t need to add to the excess sorrows, anger, pain, and suffering. I need to stop with the passive aggressions and hurtful deeds, actions, and words. I am better than that because I am a child of God. He is willing to leave the 99 to find one missing cheap. Well the saying doesn’t make much sense but still, I’m simply wanted to end this aggression I have towards others. I believe that they don’t deserve my meaness and I simply don’t have the right to be mean to them or cause them pain even if they caused mine. I would simply do my best even if the rest fail. Honestly, even if my dad fail to love himself, there is little I can do. I guess I could and should still love on him and that is it. That is what I should do , but could I simply do nothing? Like I will not be mean to him but leave him alone? So I am asking if indifference is ok. I think this is it for today, maybe I wil continue later, because I need to go home and don’t laundry.
Published by MyPitching.Blog
I am pursuing a bachelor degree at Texas Tech University. I am majoring in General Studies on a Pre-Medical track. I want to be a surgeon. I started this blog my sophomore year of college in my dorm's laundry room while machines were running loudly, however, I was still able to focus on what's important--starting my first ever blogging experience. I was reading an article about how students can often get stuck in college life while becoming oblivious to what's going on outside or once they graduated. I want this blog to be a mean of investment, but it has turned to be something so much more. It has become my personal, 22 dollars annually therapist sessions. It has become my supportive-best friend. I am interested in sharing my experiences (brokenness, happiness) as well as connecting with you. Hopefully, my site and stories can benefit you. I hope that my experiences (heart breaks, boys' problems, disappointments) reach you. I prayed that through hard times, we're still hopeful, knowing that we serve an unchangeable, constant, never-ever-changing God of the universe. I hope that my experiences and honesty can touch, reach, and love you. It is through this brokenness that makes me excited to live and keep going. My uttermost importance in life is to live a meaningful life full of growth. No matter which allies I get lost in, I know I will eventually find the hill. I live for the sole purpose of growth, until I die. People can say I'm delusional or whatever, I don't care. I know I am living my LIFE. It's MY LIFE and I am the protagonist of my story. No one is going to write it for me. I always wanted to travel. I hope to be able to do that in the future. I have this passion to help the sick (mentally and physically) and to help them redeem their life once more--to give them a chance to live a better life and to make a better decision. To give them a chance to love themself better just like God has given me uncountable chance to live again, again, and again, and again. I don't want to just live life, I want to LIVE LIFE. I want to experience it all. View all posts by MyPitching.Blog