Perplexing Bitterness

I’m perplexed at the bitterness of my heart. I know I am bad and mean and selfish and cold and everything but good. I’m just bad and bitter. And I don’t need to explain or owe it to other. All I know is that I need to be better. I think that my life is so bad but I’m bad and that’s all. Well I don’t have to be bad. I can be good. Nothing good comes easy but maybe if one’s lucky. All I know is that I’m tired of being mean to my dad. I don’t have to be perfect but what I could be is to not be mean to people who I think deserves it or hurt me. I’m done with that. It produced no good and I can witnessed that in my own life. It doesn’t do me any good to be mean to someone. I don’t think I have the right to be mean to someone. I’m not a judge and I simply don’t need to act like one. I need to stop and do good things that I think is good. The world in itself has already been fill with lots of pain and hurt. I don’t need to add to the excess sorrows, anger, pain, and suffering. I need to stop with the passive aggressions and hurtful deeds, actions, and words. I am better than that because I am a child of God. He is willing to leave the 99 to find one missing cheap. Well the saying doesn’t make much sense but still, I’m simply wanted to end this aggression I have towards others. I believe that they don’t deserve my meaness and I simply don’t have the right to be mean to them or cause them pain even if they caused mine. I would simply do my best even if the rest fail. Honestly, even if my dad fail to love himself, there is little I can do. I guess I could and should still love on him and that is it. That is what I should do , but could I simply do nothing? Like I will not be mean to him but leave him alone? So I am asking if indifference is ok. I think this is it for today, maybe I wil continue later, because I need to go home and don’t laundry.

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