An update ..

So I finally had the “hard” conversation with my manager. I basically said that I’ move sincerely wronged and she was right. I viewed it and was grateful for everything. If I’m being honest I was wrong and I haven’t return my word about my mistakes. It opened my eye. More than actually typing this reflection I need to pray to God for direction and guidance on what to do in case I got an a job at the hospital. If I didn’t get it then no question asked, everything goes back to normal and I would asked my manager to retract my 2-weeks noticed. I have to wait and see and find out. I honestly need to know the answer to decide. It pays better and I’ve always wanted to work in the hospital. But I still feel like my due at my current morning job has not been repaid. I felt like there are some room I can still grow. I want to get my hand back though. I want to get my hand and strength back so that I can do all the work. Also, my energy. Tomorrow is a Saturday. I felt like I was being too much flog I bring my potluck desert to my morning job. I don’t know. There is nothing wrong but I didn’t want to give a wrong impression of staying. I maybe again over thinking it. It shouldn’t have been complicated. If you feel that it’s a right ok thing to do then do it. If it’s too late then it’s too late. I think I’ll be ok if I didn’t get any of the job. That means both of them aren’t for me get and that’s ok. God always has a plan and always with me. I will not be afraid. I won’t be when all these times. He has been guiding me all through my weaknesses. I will not worry and doubt God’s goodness and provision doesn’t matter where He takes me. I will follow and obey his provision for me. It’s honestly very interesting that things turn out the way it unfolded. I would never thought any of this would happen and I know this was for me. It was part of the story. God knows I’m afraid about anything. I worry people would take advantage of me. I had to all wronged in my head and I’m glad God helped me see what I was blinded to. I’m thankful for 2019-2020. It has been such a good, important years of my life. I want to grow with God. I do—working with people and at my morning has shaped me to see some of my hidden sins. This will be lessons I will come back to whenever doubt sets in. God has perfectly planned each and every steps of the way. He careful and loving provision for my life. He intended for me to grow. And I don’t regret having prayed for what I had. I want to grow and improve and be more like Him. So that I can be some light for others on darkness. Regardless of how I felt disappointed or vulnerable. There is a bible verse that said something about getting rid of self to be filled with Christ.

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