I don’t trust myself because from past experienced I knew that my intentions aren’t most pure. I don’t trust it. I trust God, but I don’t trust myself. I know I got x,y, and z to work on and I messed up on a daily basis. Whom am I to have all that accountability and be there for someone when I don’t even know if I could help–even myself. I am scared of being caught up in the messes of people’s lives that seems to enter mine. I have been hurt from others and myself in the past when I got caught in their sins and life decisions. I am not the person to be counseling anyone right now. And I don’t even know if I will be effective at doing so. I don’t want to hurt their feelings and mine. A lot of it is me trying to make them better, but neither am I. And that person needs a friend and I don’t know if that is his purest of intentions. I trust my intentions often times and it is telling me that I don’t believe he would hold me accountable. I have to hold myself accountable–carrying the load. If being friend is the intention then I might could be one, but it is also up to the person to have the same goal. God is bigger than all my fears, but I don’t know which side to take or which decisions to make. I am clueless and I don’t want to make another mistakes I’ve made in the past. And I am not quite sure if I would be communicating effectively. People say stuff easily all the times, but do they have the conviction to change and actually do that they say would do. I trust myself, in this categories, than I do with other, specialty people that are grey in the friendship or not friendship area. But at the same time, right now at this stage in life and from what I gathered, I will not date, but look at them as a brother. Perhaps this should be the approach. Too view them as a brother in Christ. And just feel like he has many baggages more than I could handled. And I don’t know if I have the patient and the sympathy to be the person to be there for someone when I barely know them. Anyhow, I don’t trust in this process. I trust God, but what is He telling me.
Published by MyPitching.Blog
Living the Life God has for me. Saying yes to Him. Growing with Him. Messing-up but have Him to go to and Pray to. Probably eating soft serve Oreos Ice Creams on fast food chains or the equivalent of Pringle sour cream and onion, but better. Beside these catch phrases, my blog is like my diary. It is a way for me to gain perspectives of situations I'm going through, to understand my feelings and to correct them. View all posts by MyPitching.Blog