I’d just finished watching a documentary on Netflix called the Minimalists. I see that it will be coming out soon, and I’d tried to watch it last week, but it hadn’t came out. It was meant to be that I finally gotten to see it today! And it wasn’t disappointing, but quite inspirational. I wasn’t hard for me to pick out what to watch on Netflix. I prefer anything that I can get out of and not mere entertainment–predictable plots and pointless fantasies. I am not saying that those are bad or evils, but it is boring, at least for me. Anyhow, I’m not here to bash those movies or t.v. shows. I’ve watch Queen’s Gambit and it was good!

Back to what I was originally was going to reflect on, is that more doesn’t necessity equivalent to becoming more happy. I supposed the saying of less (stuff) is more makes sense after having finished the documentary. We could argued as to why they (Joshua and Ryan) were to start this idea called minimalism. I’m not quite sure the idea were started by them or not, but they told the story in the documentary. Let’s just say, we could argued that these two guys were probably ought to make more money too. Regardless of their intentions or motivations. They simply shared their ideas with the world and it made me think that I don’t really need to the the things I thought I needed to be happy. The things that I have right now, I am ok and perhaps I was chasing after the wrong, false ideas of what it means to be happy and to live a meaningful life. Ok I’m 23 years old and a recent college graduate. I don’t know exactly that it is to live a meaningful life. These saying seemed to have been introduce before, but I am still not sure what it means.

The documentary definitely didn’t say to throw away everything you own and live with like a toothbrush and one pair of jeans. It did, however, wanted to inspire us to be thoughtful to ourselves and what we need and for our planet. The world wants to sell us stuff. The idea is more and more, which we don’t really need. It makes me wanted to get rid of my stuff that I definitely sure I don’t need.

Lsat night (even having watch the show), I felt like decluttering my Spotify playlist. I had this playlist I called LBB-ACT that I use to open when I drive home from Lubbock to Waco. Anyhow, I decided to focus on the songs I actually like to listen to and simply forget about the ones I skipped. I has a total of 15 playlists before the reorganization but by the end of the night I had more total of playlists than started, but they are all more organize and I could still condense them easier now if I needed to in the future. I ended up with 23 playlists with only a few songs that fit its category. I felt better about my Spotify playlist that can still be improved. Perhaps this is the beginning of what’s more to come. There are always things to look forward to every year. I’m excited this up coming season of life. I feel like life is still good and exciting to explore. It might be ending soon, but I don’t want to waste my life.

I’m thankful for my family even though I cannot always talk to them. I’m not sure if I just couldn’t talk to them or I don’t allow them to or given their chance. I’m not quit sure. And maybe I do, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’ve always just live in my own world. I often time, wanted to get away and live by myself. I have that thought whenever I had a disagreement with my dad. The things we asked of off each other are great things. In fact, if we followed them, it makes me a better person. The fact is nobody could fully change me, only God cans. And maybe one day I will simply do what he says. Maybe one day I would love and care for him more. Maybe one day I could be less selfish and be more gentle to him. Only one day. Only one day. There is fight or flight. I like to have ideas of flight. I just wanted to get away and do my own thing. I really do, but I felt like I would have to repay my dad for that he has done for me. It felt like a burden and that isn’t love, but more like debt. Like he might be invented in the wrong thing, which is me. I am about living my life, but I couldn’t have done or have what I have today without him as my supporter. I don’t think it is a debt, but more of a gratitude. I wanted to be good to him and be nicer to him and make him feel love. He loves me so much more than I could possibly understand. But at the same time, I wanted all this things in life partially for him too. I wanted him an easy life–a mice house and a spot that he enjoys. I wanted him to be happy for all the things he has done for me. I wanted to reply him for taking care of me every single days and for loving me all my life. It is a lot of pressure. It really is. And maybe I don’t really need all of those things for him to be happy. I just need to make him happy with what I have, which is time, good conversations. and maybe a nice meal once in while that Cook for him. That’s really all that he needs. God honestly given me wisdom to reflect and discern things, but I will surely ask Him that I could follow through. I don’t have to achieve all these great awesome thing in life, but with what I have he is important to me more than anything or anyone could offers. My dad is my sort of inspiration that I had forgotten and stupidly ignored, abused, and taken for granted. He is the most important thing in my life that I didn’t cherish. My family, the people closest to me are the most important thing in my life. And I want them to be happy.

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