As of today as well as in the past, it seems like the so called the Land of the Free isn’t really what it commercial to be. So many lives have to pay for what is called freedom and justice as if the death of the past is not already enough to end prejudice and hatred of this world. It is sad and horrendous how some people are so racist and were so called Christians whatever religious they are, everyone is guilty. I am guilty. George Floyd was not the only a “colored” person who have died for the color of his skin. This White Supremacist thing has to end because the world need better assumption than this. What is the Golden Rule. The human as a species not only fighting with virus, but also our own kind when we should be uniting and loving one another no matter the occasion. People are hurting, upsetting, and questioning “why.” I mean I wouldn’t want someone to hate me simply for my multi-rainbow skin color. I like vanilla and chocolate ice creme in different ways. Each of us have our strengths and weaknesses, we should help each to be the best version of ourselves instead of hating and putting each other down. The world would be a better place if some of us understand this and all we can do is to love one another, just a little bit and to not be as selfish. Racism should have ended a long time ago, so many lives had to go because some of us think they are better, more superior than the other. Just because your income is better or neighborhood is safer doesn’t mean you can except that power and oppress other who don’t have as much. What then is justice. It makes me annoyed and mad that some of my family are also racist frankly, but that doesn’t mean that I choose to let their incorrect assumption clouds my thoughts and reasonings about whose racial background is better than the other. The truth is everyone is different and I don’t have to agree with them or conform my identity to it. The least I could do is to not hate and accept them as they are and to not hurt them. I can see why people are protesting. They have to do something when justice doesn’t serve its purpose. No matter the race, white, black, green, yellow, or pink. If ones did wrong, one must face the physical and mental consequences. Every wrongs must have its consequences. And that consequences well. I mean One of the arguments is people are not happy that the polices only got fired. I mean what does the law says about this situation. How many more lives there needs to be before something is done about this sort of actions. They need to be some laws in place to ensure that people who does these things, and when it is justifiable to cruelty, ones must be punished. No matter what race, what Derek Chauvin and other polices in power did were cruel and unjustifiable. Protestors were right that these polices treated George Floyd like an animal. They didn’t listen to his plead. These polices had him handcuffed. I mean what on earth justified for what Chauvin did to George Floyd. He had his face on the ground and knee on his neck. That’s cruelty. It is unreasonable use of force. It says a lot about Chauvin’s character. Even if this isn’t about character, well justice needs to do its work and put an end to this kind of cruelty even if it may not change someone outlook about racism, at the very least make it an offense and punish people who do this to another human being, no matter the race. We are talking about cruelty to animal and another human being needs to be judge in the eyes of law and lock behind bars, so no one would do this again. Also when people ask why still talk about racism because the more we talked about it, the more it is a thing. IT IS A THING and THAT’S WHY We’re still talking about it. Not saying anything is as equal as conforming to the act. The bystander is as guilty as the abuser. That’s why this needs to end, however, it might never truly end because human are all sinful. Yet, at the VERY LEAST make it a Law, so people get Justice they seek to find.
Yeah, so I looked back into some of my docs writing and they were just Better! The grammar, the flow sentences, everything was batter, I think. It does not seem too conversation like it is now. Man things changed. And i hope it is for good. i also need to take my blog out of Facebook. i had taken it down but somehow it is still there 😦
Man I can’t believe it. I am overwhelm with unexplainable joy and full of gratitude from congratulated words by friends, teachers, family and relatives. These people mean the world to me for just taking their time to Love, Like, or Comment on my post about sharing my virtual graduation link on Facebook. I mean blessed Facebook for providing a platform and opportunity to connect with my relatives, friends, and family from Thailand. I am so touched and thrilled by all the comments and likes I’ve received. You have to idea how much you taking time to congratulate means to me. It means the world. It means you sharing your experience with me. It means you still remember me and I do still and always will remember you even though I have not been back to visit in years. I hope to visit soon, very soon because I need to catch-up with them and just hug them and to see how they’re all doing. I miss them. Thailand is part of my amazing, wild, and wondrous childhood that I could not trade for anything else. I am blessed to my have time there and it will always be my home. So to all my relatives back homes as well as loved ones back home and here, to all the friends and families, I appreciate you guys. I would make sure to visit you in Thailand when I go back just like the time you took to acknowledge my post. I never thought graduation was a big deal, but it became a big deal because of you all. You’ve made it very special for me to celebrate. Even though this graduation strictly seems to only congratulate me. I wanted to use this time to congratulate you for being part of my life, my childhood, and has a say and shape who I am today. You’re all part of it and part of my journey. Thank you for stopped your scrolling to give a thought of me. I really am thankful.
Well well, I am back at it again for another doodling project of mine. The fun and it was always part of the unplanned because I write whenever I feel “things.” I write because I want to let my feelings out. I don’t know if I am a feeling kind of person necessarily, but if I think hard enough, my actions were driven by how I feel. I don’t really plan things. I hardly do. It is a moment sort of thing. I do plan sometimes, but I certainly did not plan on writing about my graduation! And that I am indeed part of the Class of 2020! The corona, the almost going to war, the crazy Trump presidency, I mean lots of things had happened and still is happening like the Covid-19. Needless to say, I am feeling the celebration.
It is weird that I didn’t actually want to celebrate, like I couldn’t careless about graduation celebration ABCD. One, I don’t feel important. Two, I don’t like that graduation symbolizes success crap. Three, I don’t have three. But I honestly have a mixed feeling when it comes to graduation. I think it is cliche and too inside the box. Like everyone had to do the same thing. Isn’t it repetitive, yeah. I don’t know I feel like a party pooper, but I only like graduation probably only for the inspirational speech and people decided to goof off when they walk on stage, that’s it.
I have a mixed feeling because, I mean you hear people say this all the time, but it does feel weird to go into the “real” world as if you living isn’t real enough. I guess a more descriptive way of explaining is the fear of the unknown. Think about it, most of you and me, we were in school for how many years already, 20 for me. I started school at maybe 2 or 3. Crazy right. Like we’re used to the system and surrounding. The basic waiting and waiting for everything. We hardly ever have to start anything ourselves. We were told what to do and now who is going to tell us. We have to leave and bye bye. You do not belong here anymore. I am having a crazy stomach feeling as I am typing this. If I am correct, it is the feeling of nervousness. I am used to the system. I am sad. I think that’s why I was feeling meh about this whole thing. It is kind of scary and I didn’t think I was going to feel this way. It is a moment thing. I feel this way right now but I will feel better later; by the time I finish writing. I remembered always wanting to leave pre-school whenever I arrived there. I didn’t like that place but what’s funny is that I am kind of half hearted feeling that way right now just the opposite. I am not sure what I am feeling weird about. I think I might know, may be it is feeling of the “I could have” sort of idea, like the feeling that I can’t take any of it back, because it flew by and you just missed it until you realized when it is too late. It is like the feeling that you didn’t know what you have until it’s gone. It is the feeling of regret and that is not the feeling I particularly enjoyed. It is the worse feeling in the world. The question is what am I regretting about. Is it not getting drunk, is it not partying, is not not smoking weed, is it not knowing what else I could have’s. Is it not studying enough for exams when I know I could do better? I think I fear of not living to the fullest. I fear I wasted it something; time, moment, opportunity, relationship, idk. I fear that, no matter what it had be. It is funny because when I graduated from high school, my church teacher gave me a book called “How to Not Waste Your Life,” isn’t ironic. I feel like it didn’t reap the experience well enough, I fear losing. I fear what I can’t take back. It is weird, but that’s how I feel. I do want to go back, actually no I can’t go back. It is impossible, from what I know there is no such thing as a time machine. It is only in movies. I hear people say all the time that the past makes up who you are and yes, I have to agree to that and stick to it; believe that it is true. I do fear change. I am scare of not making the past pretty enough for my best work. Like I am doom because my past was not the best I can do. I think these feelings are; I don’t know if it is normal.. I am sure I am not the only one experiencing this crisis ever in the world. I tried to look on the bright side to everything. I do. Life is too short to be miserable. I am grateful up until this point actually. I feel lucky a lot and I had to fight for things and things just does not come to me I have to work for it. No matter what they are I have to work at it. I mean God helped shape me too and I owed that to Him. He is my comforter. He is the one that brought all the people I’ve met.
I have to say that more than anything I am grateful and that is the IT word. I just am. For everything. For what I have, eat, sleep on, type on, play game on, talk to people on, FaceTime my dad, mom, drive, ride, cook, bake, grill, clean, wash…
I just am glad to exist and living, but it is time to actually Live, to feel alive to love and to laugh.
Comes with prize; nothing is truly for free. I love being on that thing along with rollerblading. They’re different. They’re both fun. But one I would say hurts more. Skateboarding… I was on it for approximately 3 days and everyday I was on it I bled every time. I fall at least twice a day. One of falls would ended up hurting and me bleeding. The worse part is not getting bled bruises but cleaning them with alcohol or soap. More with alcohol. That thing bit like nothing I’ve ever felt. I mean the sensation of alcohol into your bleeding flesh is just beyond describable. It hurts like …. the underground, yeah you know what I mean.
This is the trade off for being on a skateboard I supposed. I have fun and I sometimes pay with blood. I would say it gives you a sense of freedom and the wind and scenery just grinding, sliding by you. It was sure fun, but I sure DONT like falling and tripping my face to the concrete gravel. It hurts. A lot. I’m lucky I didn’t shift one of my teeth or something. But the flesh on my hands and knee is also not fun. I hope to be more optimistic but I will try again tomorrow? Probably if I’m bored. I will get on it again. But I don’t want to feel discourage to have fun. I don’t want fear and pain to get in my way of feeling free on the board. I really don’t want the unknown and fear to hinder my freedom to have fun on it. I want to have fun and not be scared to try different trick again. I don’t want to be discouraged. And it won’t be because that’s part of the fun.
This is interesting how much my mind thinks about food. What food do I crave, what do I want to make, what sounds good right now, etc. Foods pop in my mind all the time and I could not help but thought what it would be like to eat them!
I guessed it’s not a bad thing. It’s better than thinking about more horrible stuff.
I was watching YouTube video about which chain restaurants had the best fried chicken then right after I finished that video, I then watched which chain restaurants had the best chicken tenders. Can you believe how much I love watching food videos and then craving them afterwards.. umm that’s me.
I really want to make good fried chicken, but sometimes I think buying them is quicker and easier. They taste good too. However, I get more chicken making them at home and it probably has a better quality. It would not exactly taste like when I buy from restaurants but I safe more money and it’s healthier too.
I don’t know when I became so obsessed with chicken especially frying them. I think I’m going to make chicken lemon fettuccine Alfredo tomorrow 👌
Today has been amazing. I woke up earlier than usual so I get more things done. I did my laundry and went grocery shopping at a store I thought would be less crowded than the store I usually go to. I bought a lot of groceries. It was a challenge carrying all of them in one trip from my car to my room. Bit with God’s help, I did it. I cleared my fridge, got rid of old foods (which is not very many) and clean all the dishes from the old food and that was nice. The weather was nice outside, I did not feel rushed at all shopping or driving. I made one my favorite dishes and eat while also watching Tarzan II. After that I drink a cherry juice that my uncle recommended and that was good too because cherry helps cardiovascular health! Them I sat and trying to study but one of my good friend, Roxanne called and I gladly and excitedly answered. We chatted a while and noted we need to hangout again very soon! Now I am eating yogurt typing about my day. Today has been amazing, tomorrow will be too